it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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