well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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