My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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