just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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