i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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