I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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