1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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