I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize