i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize