i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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