Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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