I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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