I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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