the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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