It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
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Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
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