He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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