You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
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I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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