He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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