Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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