put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize