i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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