he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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