Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We just shotgunned beers for America
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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