I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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