if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
