I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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