you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize