your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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