I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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