on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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