No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize