my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize