He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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