stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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