Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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