nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Be still, my beating vagina.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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