Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize