Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize