Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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