This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize