I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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