How'd it feel making her break her religion?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
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Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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