Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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