I skipped work to stalk him.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Two words: blizzard sex
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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