I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Duck Duck Cougar?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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