My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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