What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize