We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize