My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
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Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
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Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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