I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize