Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize