Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i already hear my dad disowning me
dude i'm inner monologue high
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
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Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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